Year 8. Evelyn and i were dying in art with Ms Schiller, who talks at the speed of an old man and sounds like shes comatose, so we decided to go to the bathroom for about 20 minutes. We didn’t think she would notice. She did.
Ms Schiller: ’Where were you girls?’ Audrey: ‘uhh.. we were just in the toilet.’ Ms Schiller: ‘That was an awfully long time hmm..?’
Audrey: ‘EVELYN HAD DIAHHOREA.’
Evelyn is left standing there shocked, blinking like a fool .
(PS. Ms Schiller: ‘Oh.. Evelyn.. *whispers* (but really the whole class is listening) would you like to go to the sickbay and get some tablets…?’)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA IF YOU DONT THINK ITS FUNNY READ IT AGAIN AND PLAY IT OUT IN YOUR MIND LMAO IF YOU STILL DONT THINK ITS FUNNY THEN YOURE MENTAL
I need the sun ==” Desperately. When everything else is boring or shitty, the sunshine always automatically cheers me up. NOT ANYMORE. now its like.. gay day, gay situation, annoying family and then .. GRAY. dear lord no wonder there’s an influx in suicides during winter, ITS HARSHING MY MELLOW .
oh fml i have double maths tmrw first thing in the morning. What kind of freak put double maths first thing?? i should go back in time and hit the guy who invented maths with a brick . WAIT. who writes the timetables? Ms jolly? i could hit her with a brick but she’d probably unleash her skinny-ness on me. is there something about ms feehan and ms jolly and why they’re abnormally thin ? thin as a bread stick must be a pre-requisite for any principals of the school… so is staying at school until like 8. i left really late one night and they were still there . What do they do there? its like scarily deserted and dark. You know why i was stuck there so late? because my wise dad drives a smurf mobile and thought that he would just stay and watch my brother’s basketball TRAINING while i hung out with my biff Helen at the office. cheers dad, not basketball game. basketball training. yes, it is clear to us all that im number 1 in his heart… Anyways… no one should be staying that late, specially not skinny old women. At that time there is NO ONE, not even overalls-McPedo-pants whos usually there till like 5 30. Nope.. just the crickets and the tumbleweed. if ms feehan stood in the way of the tumbleweed she’d probably get run over like a bus.
DESPITE ALL THAT DEPRESSING CRAP lack of money is also bringing me down… i need new clothes.
T.T dear god come to think of it, i also need a nap . for about 40 years.
I know why I got a blog in the first place, to write about daily shenanigans and rant. Its just meant for a few of my friends, and that’s all i really want it for. but looking at other people’s blogs, it seems that not many people really focus on daily occurrences, but more on using it as an outlet. most of it is really.. im not sure if emotional is the word ? not emotional.. more like.. packed with emotion? good feelings, bad feelings, mostly its just heavy life-weighing stuff.
I’m not saying i dont like that, because sometimes i do and i follow heaps of blogs, but im just surprised that they have so much strength to be so heavy and intense all the time. all the pictures, long quotes, the poems and song lyrics, (for readers) they suck you in from the mood you were before, to this deep thinking stage and then you get addicted to reading the posts and then you get like.. depressed. the ‘meaning of life mood’ is a great mood to be in, but i dont think i could handle being like that all the time, especially if i wasn’t in that mood to begin with.
so here’s my promise to you tumblr, unless i’m in that deep-thoughtful mood or I’ve gotten really upset, i’m going to try to abstain from that in my daily blog posts. Excluding the pictures… because i mean, the pictures are just pretty. hope that makes sense.
MR REID. it takes you about 15 minutes to utter one sentence . Spit it out, or amidst your dither spaz your moustache is going to just vibrate straight off your face . im just saying is all. PS. i think i have nearly rubbed my nose off my face. damn you prelims and damn myself for not ‘keeping my muscles warm’. good day.
PS. i think im going blind and all we have here are expired tablets. does me a world of good ay…..
tmrw is prelims. oh sweet mother of pea that is NOT a good thing. i dont mind House crosscountry, but in front of the Ruyton and MLC chicks who are basically a cross between men and one giant oiled-up muscle with legs, i might as well be going into the race blindfolded.
BAHA lack of drive, lack of ambition, i havent run hardcore in about a month. NO this is not the time when you say ‘dont worry, you can still run anyways’ or ‘its okay you can still do it’ nu uh. i have missed about 16 trainings and fitness camp bahahah oh god that is such a joke.. you know why it sucks? because maybe it would be an option to walk it, like a stroll in the park and that would be a pretty damn good day.. but i could never because of all the pressure.
" EVERY RUNNER YOU PASS WHO IS WEARING THE SAME ARM BAND COLOUR AS YOU IS ANOTHER POINT FOR OUR DIVISION ! "
WELL GUESS WHAT CROSS COUNTRY PEOPLE, IF YOU HAVENT YET NOTICED, WE ARE BASICALLY A SKITTLE RAINBOW OF DIFFERENT COLOURED ARM BANDS EVEN THOUGH WE ALL GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL how the fuck does that even work???
oh no oh no oh no oh no… no matter how much i persist, cross country still hates me… year 7, thanks to peng lao shi (who lets the chinese teacher tell people which way to go??) i ran 3 laps instead of 2.. in year 8 i refused to do it wrong, so i ran with louisa and somehow we BOTH ran the wrong way…. Prelims.. thats the track with the massive steep hill that goes for like a hundred metres christ on a bike.. alright ill just have to run it with my eyes shut i might ’accidentally’ sprain my ankle, get frostbite running in shorts, or tumble down the hill and take everyone down like domino’s with me , it is a risk you will have to take since im basically crapping my pants. TALLY HO AND AWAYY
1.Series Of Unfortunate Events 2.HERCULESS feck me, these movies take the cake and the cookies and the whole damn buffet. number 2 is one of my favourite disney movies and 1 is just AWESOME
hmm lets see.. what did i do this wkend…
Oh, my fish died. Murray, Merlin and Moses. How upsetting.. i didnt see them, because i didnt WANT to, but my brother woke up and was all ‘ZOMG MnMS HAVE DIED!’ i was upset. adam: ‘AWESOME, can i put my Xbox there?’ mum: ‘its about time! remove the tank now, but don’t put it in the garage its breakable glass blah blah blah blah rave on mother rave on’ dad: ‘im not getting rid of it, its your fish.’
goddamn there is no sensitivity for the dead these days… What i don’t understand is, how on earth did they die at the same time?? can fish collaborate? maybe they agreed to a group suicide.. i cant say i wouldnt agree, being a fish is no cupcake. hmmm i bet it was my dad. He had an issue with fish food control and it was like he was damn fattening them up like hansel and gretal… Moses in particular, boy was he a beast a of a fish. oh wellll RIP my children, i hope you are happy in the big fish tank of life in the sky, and hopefully not the toilet bowl of life because i did not want to flush you, even though my dad did .
Um. i have a political futures and maths test tmrw . i should probably study and enjoy that …
and finally before i depart, what is with people being so scarishly emo in their blogs? i mean im not exactly farting out rainbows, but my fishy type children just died and im not ‘plunging into a dark abyss with no one to cling to, unable to feel any sign of hope, where are you? are you thinking of me like i think of you?’ CORRECT . that is an actual blog quote. i know, all you people who are churning in the sea of love, but comeon TRY and be happy ? i like a complete blockhead as well and thats never going to happen, so i just transfer all that energy to something better than depression… if you know what i mean and i think you do . ahem* and yes sorry to all my friends who bear that burden for me :) i luuurve you
“I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a grammy, never have a hit song and that he hoped I’d fail… I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me’”—Lady Gaga
I noticed recently that due to my long-ish hair im malting like a malting thing in summer.. EXCELLENT, at this rate by the end of the year we can expect that im going to look like that naked guinea pig off kim possible or my dad. neither is preferable
Mr and Mrs Next-door are renovating their house and the fence that once divided our areas is GONE. Today while i was eating an apple Mrs Next-Door waved at me from her kitchen and it was weird….. so basically, now i can see up the pebble pathway into their garden and through their kitchen window and upstairs bathroom. You know, I could probably pop around to theirs for a cup of tea anytime if i wanted, but coincidentally i will never want that . if this becomes a ‘Disturbia’ situation no one trust me to be the hero… probably the best i can do is send over a plate of muffins so the killer doesn’t crack and attack my family.. because really, who isn’t happy with a plate of muffins?
hmm what else… oh yes, I needed new earphones and my dad got a pair that require you to stab yourself in the ear with. i gave them back to him because they violate me and i don’t like it. no music while walking home is better than ear rape
okay and larstly to end my delightful day, i was walking through the park and as i passed by a group of year 7 wog guys, the fattest one went 'There's a party in my pants tonight and you're invited.' then his pratty 12 year old pals were all like ‘Oh yeah. Cool.’ and started laughing like constipated hyenas.. there’s nothing really to say in a situation like that except ‘Go away. a LOT.’
sadly it would probably have been more tolerable with my ear raping headphones =.=
hmm.. i was quite the grumpy dwarf this morning, but perhaps the reason was that Adam is STEALING ALL MY HAIR STUFF. i cant believe i didn’t notice it before ! he just SNEAKS into my room while i happen to be in the bathroom (crafty).
and yes, today my dad was in the shower for a while (who knows why, hes bald) and i was in my room underneath the doona when Adam sneaks in, looks around frantically like a mad hamster and then just grabs my stuff ! so yes, i burst forth from underneath the doona and it was kind of funny because he nearly pee’d himself. And you know what? i don’t really care about my stuff that much, but he woke me from my slumber so i was forced to blast his head off. Basically my dad came in to investigate the yelling and then yelled at me for being ‘petty’. Madam nearly pooed his pants in delight, but BAHA sucks to be him because he didn’t get to use any of my stuff and his hair looked like a tumble-dried ferret. Hes becoming an Asian Gangster. He just started at balwyn and its ALREADY HAPPENING. Don’t even ask me why he needs to use my product, he just got a haircut and he has like 3 hairs.
ANYWAY. Wanna know what i learned today while researching for my sports project? Aerobics is not a mistress to be messed with . also ‘Japanese women have one super long nail specially for when they want to pick their nose.’ - Bog. Not sure if it’s true, but i think i’ve learnt my fair share for the day.
This means, that she insists on driving all of us everywhere to improve her driving skills which to be frank don’t exist . Because she is paranoid to the extreme (and i had to be driven to a 7:30 mentor program) we got to leave at 6:15 IN THE MORNING in the smurf mobile so that she KNOWS THAT WE’LL GET THERE ON TIME.
We arrived at 6:40 after being overtaken by a group of old men. Old men who aren’t even on bikes, just walking quite briskly, That is how pathetic this is becoming. 50 minutes early to school when its dark outside, hanging out with Mr 40-year-old-cleaner-in-overalls. At least now i have the house to myself for a mope-a-thon. The smurf mobile has roared off down the drive at three miles an hour, so they’ll be at the end of the street by tomorrow if they’re lucky and have a following wind.
PS. new car + massive fight over car colour= dad choosing car colour= smurf mobile. aren’t i just the luckiest?